Why The Four Agreements

 In Book Club, Empowered Leadership, Uncategorized

This month, I chose The Four Agreements to be our book for the leadership team to read together.

A member of our Leadership Team requested we have a book that would help with teambuilding.  I agree that building a cohesive team is at the very top of our list of priorities at Allumé.  The Four Agreements, though oddly not overtly about team-building, is essential for eliciting greatness out of self and others.

The Four Agreements invites us to see (expose) our limited, disempowered thinking. It helps us to own in ourselves how limited, disempowered thinking affects the way we interact with others. It also allows us to see how other people on our team might also have limited thinking (no judgment) and how our mutual disempowered thinking is leading to conflict.

It gets at the heart and core of who a person needs to be in order to “be remarkable.”   Challenges of any kind will be better met head on, when one has a powerful mindset.

To build a team, or do anything in the world successfully with others, it’s very important to understand oneself, and The Four Agreements helps to expose the often filtered lens through which we look at the world.

The reason that I chose The Four Agreements is because it speaks to the core of the challenges we face when interacting with ourselves, with the world around us, as well as with team members. It helps us to dispel myths about our thoughts, the way we interpret the world, and the way that we interact with others effectively.

The Four Agreements invites us to take responsibility for ourselves and our thinking.  It encourages us to see the deeper truth of who we are.  We are each a powerful creator, a powerful member of society able to live with freedom and opportunity, a person able to capture possibilities and turn them into creative results.

I chose The Four Agreements because I hoped it would help inspire an elevated, empowered relationship each of us has with ourselves.

The first agreement, be impeccable with your word, is critical for leaders.  It asks us to challenge old thinking and bring to light new ways of approaching whatever challenges we face.

It is also important to realize the source of our thinking.  For every thought you have, consider these questions:

  • Is this thought coming from fear, victimhood, and pain? 
  • Or is this thought coming from love, empowerment and courage? 

Being impeccable with your word, means that we take responsibility, each of us, for our thoughts, and for what we send out into the world.

Being impeccable with your word means accepting the truth that your thoughts shape your experience of reality.  To own and to know that our thoughts are creating the reality that we’re experiencing is a powerful awareness. I personally believe that the reality one lives in is a product of all the thoughts and beliefs one has.

If you want to know what your thoughts are, look at your life. Look at all the things you’ve manifested… all the things that you love, all the things that you resist, all the things that you wish would change. 

Your life is a pure manifestation of what you think. 

This isn’t to say that empowered, loving people don’t have bad things happen to them. Not at all.  What it means that people who have loving, empowered, courageous thinking view and respond to tragic events in their life differently.

Thus, when it comes to questions like building a team, allowing others to follow you, or get on board with your vision, we must first consider our current thoughts and what those thoughts are manifesting.

Thus, to be impeccable with one’s word means seeing where our lives are not aligned with our desires. Any area in our lives where we believe that it should be different than it is, is an area where we need to be more impeccable with our thoughts and actions. It’s an area where we’re struggling to let go of limited thinking, fear-based thinking.

To help re-shape your thinking about a difficult team situation, I invite you to journal on these questions.  This first step of self-reflection and self-responsibility is a brave and loving act that will make you and the people you touch feel incredibly empowered, self-accepting, and loving. 

Use the Eight Questions To Transform Your Team:

  1. What are the current thoughts you have about members of your team? 
  2. Which thoughts are aligned with team integration, connection, and cohesiveness?
  3. Which thoughts are in opposition? Which thoughts are judgemental, divisive, and polarizing?  Where have you engaged in gossip, shaming, or blaming?
  4. If your team were to be in harmony, what thoughts would you have when someone presented an opinion with which you didn’t agree?
  5. If someone on your team were not meeting expectations, what would be an empowering, supportive, and loving way to see them and the situation?
  6. What thoughts would lead to healing, transformation, and growth for yourself and others involved?
  7. What actions would come from absolute truth blended with kindness, and the intention for good to follow for yourself and the other people involved?
  8. If someone on your team behaved in fear or shame, what thoughts would you have about them that would help reinstate connection and safety?

To be able to see your team as impeccable would mean that you would choose to perceive each person as a wise and capable human. You would choose to see them as doing their best. You would choose to see them as a person who does things for reasons beyond what we can see. Reasons that are forgivable, acceptible, human, and even lovable.

With impeccable thinking, you could choose to come to them with the hopes of together healing.  With impeccable thinking, you could find a way to support them towards a path of mutual desire.

When you do this — when you choose to be impeccable with your word — you take a brave step in the direction of empowerment that might at first seem contrary, like you are giving others permission to not meet expectations or standards, but you will discover instead a new place from which to invite excellence. That new place is wholehearted love, empowerment, and acceptance.

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